"You're mistake led to customer satisfaction, don't let it happen again!"

This came up one day when my wife was reading this:

http://www.makeupyourownmind.co.uk/question-search?key=runny+yolk

and the above line was the first thing that came to my mind.

What ever happened to customer satisfaction? I mean, there was a time when the customer was king, and could get pretty much anything they wanted if they knew how to talk to a company. Now, many companies are so rigid in their policies that they wont entertain the idea of making a concession to a customer. These days it seems like some companies don't even want to make money anymore.

We need a new furnace, for reasons beyond our control. The TSSA has declared our furnace condemned and ordered us to get a new one. Its amazing how difficult it is to even get a company to come and give me a quote. For something that is for sure going to cost anywhere from $3000 to $5000, they should be lining up at my door to get my business. Instead, I have 1 sales guy that wont return my calls, and the other that wont call me to begin with. 2 separate companies that will never again have my business for anything significant.

We ended up going with a local company called Hearth and Home. They came, gave us a quote, are kind enough to install the furnace on short notice, and will even finance it for us with very good terms. I'm impressed.

Hey Reliance, Hey Sears, you both lost a sale, and it was your own damn fault.

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"No more beaver at the table!"

It sounds dirtier than it actually is.

The kids watch a show called Peep and the Big Wide World. Its a cute show, and the kids love it, and they learn sciencey things from it. Theres a character on the show called beaver boy, he's a beaver. Every time he bites something (usually a tree) he makes a sound like "nan nan nan". Larkin was doing that at the table tonight...

With... every... green bean.

It was obnoxious.

So yeah, I asked her to stop, repeatedly. And then came the line in question. I said it, and then my wife looked at me, and I looked at her, and we both burst out laughing.

I found myself not an hour earlier telling Morgan "Don't lick the floor". Yeah, I don't know. She was trying to eat something that had spilled on the floor, but instead of picking it up and putting it in her mouth, she decided to expadite the process and lick it directly off the floor... ew. The funny thing is, this process seemed perfectly logical to her.

Okay then.

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"Do not put carrots in your hair!"

I realize that many of these words of wisdom, as it were, come up around our dinner time. So here's a few of the better ones:

"Do not put corn in your ears."
"Don't throw [insert food here] on the floor."
"Don't play with it, just eat it."
"Cheerios are *NOT* tiddly-winks."
"Ketchup is for dipping food, not fingers."
"Don't paint with your bok-choy."

And just to end it, even if it is slightly off-topic for this post:

"Do not beat your sister with a pumpkin!"

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"Do not run out in front of moving vehicles."

This came up the other day when leaving the Hospital.

It stands to reason that this is common sense, but I guess not so much as I thought.

We we're accelerating up a hill. The fact that I was accelerating could be witnessed by the audible revving of my engine. I could see up ahead that there were 2 teenagers running down the hill, on foot. I didn't think anything of it, because 2 teenagers could not possibly be *that* stupid, could they?

Apparently I drastically underestimated the average intelligence of modern teenagers. One of them looked right at me, took a step out into the street, then back on the sidewalk, then at the last second, shot out into the street right in front of my accelerating Cavalier to cross the road.

In a split second I hammered on the brakes to avoid hitting the dumb twit, and blasted my horn at him. I think I also yelled some choice words at him, but I don't think he heard it over the horn.

What would possess somebody to do that? I don't get it... am I missing something?

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"Just give it to me... No, don't stab me with it!"

We were eating dinner tonight, and both children ate reasonably well, which was a pleasant change. Morgan was pretty much done her food, but still had her fork, and was playing with it.

Mom asked for the fork.

Morgan continued to play.

"Just give it to me..."

To which Morgan responded by thrusting the fork, pointy side forward, towards Mom's hand.

"Don't stab me with it!" she exclaimed and took the fork.

Now you are likely thinking "She didn't know any better..." but you would have to know Morgan. She looks so cute and sweet and innocent. And thats what she wants you to believe as she is...

... stabbing you with a fork.
... stepping on the cat.
... pulling all the movies off the shelf.
... pouring water/tea/pop all over the couch/floor.
... yanking on the wiring behind the entertainment unit, nearly clearing the top of it in the process.

Yes, she is our cute, sweet, innocent little demon hell-child from the 9th level.

We never had this much trouble with the older one.

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Riddle Me This...

How do you get corn into a toddlers nose? I mean without them putting it there herself?

Today at dinner Morgan discovered that her mouth and nose are connected... the hard way. We were happily eating dinner when we heard a sneeze come from Morgans end of the table. A sneeze wouldn't normally upset her, except that she did it with a mouth full of food... thus, a large portion of what was in her mouth became lodged up her nose.

Morgan, having never before experienced this, was understandably upset. We encouraged her to continue sneezing and coughing, and thought she was fine, but then she wouldn't settle, something was bothering her still. My wife tipped her head up, and sure enough, there was something stuck there. Out came the tweezers, and she proceeded to pull a rather large kernel of corn from the poor child's nose. We figured this was it, because really... she's not even 2, how much could she possibly have up there?

But there was still something there, she was still upset. My wife tried to get her to blow her nose, but it wouldn't budge.

Riddle me that... how do you get said corn back out of a toddlers nose once it's inadvertently lodged there?

A little trick I learned at the doctors office. Get your toddler to sit very still (not an easy task for a toddler with corn stuck up her nose), place your mouth over hers and form a seal (think CPR), plug the nostril with nothing in it... and BLOW.

Oh... and don't forget the tissue...

And so it begins...

Yup, I'm here. I'm making a post. Somehow I don't think anybody will be interested in reading this, but I figured that since I read so many blogs on a daily basis, I might as well write one too.

Some topics I may cover, including, or not neccesarily so, and certainly not limited to:

Dungeons and Dragons
My Kids
Work?
Random Thoughts

And so on... I can't think of anything else right now, its too late, and I'm tired.

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